An Update, For The Sake of Updating

Nothing much new has happened lately. My wounds have finished suppurating and are now scabbed over, so they can begin healing. My bike is in a relative state of tranquility. Only four people died while in its presence this last week, and while I couldn't get a priest to exorcise it, I did get some Jehovah's Witnesses to pamphlet it. I had an acrostic themed party last night, the results of which were an absence of police intervention. For those who did not come or still do not know what an acrostic is, it is a poem... well, lemme just show you. My friend Kai came up with this one.

K ill
A ll
I nsects

Or my friend Kaia.

K ill
A ll
I nsects
A gain

Or my friend Hannah.

H aters
A ttitudes
N eed
N ot
A pply
H ere

Joe had a great deal of difficulty coming up with his. His was eventually

J acob
O rders
S on
E phraim
P ass
H allah

Although technically that doesn't work because hallah is really spelled challah. My favorite acrostic of his was

J '
O uvris
S on
E cole
P our
H aricots

Which translated means (roughly) 'I open your school for green beans). I like it very much, especially since it is in French and is amusingly absurd. Did I mention how much I like things that are absurd? I was raised on Monty Python, after all.

This was mine from last night.

P ercival's
E arly
T errestrial
E xplorations
R ocked

T oday,
R uthlessly
U ndermined,
A re
X enohydrological

Yes, I know that xenohydrological is not a recognized word, but let's face it, the X section of the dictionary is slim. And I will award myself bonus points for coming up with an acrostic that is not only complete, but sensical. It tells the story of the work of Percival Lowell, who discovered Pluto, but later hypothesized that the valleys of Mars were actually canals built by an advanced Martian race. That, of course, proved to be bogus. Still, and interesting man.

In fact, most people named Percy are interesting. Take Percy Grainger as another example. Percy Aldridge Grainger was an Australian composer, who was fluent in 11 languages, was a sado-masochist, designed his own clothing, mostly using towels, was a fond fan of European racial superiority, dumpster-dove for parts with which to invent instruments, rarely cleaned his clothes (and was at times arrested for it), and was a vegetarian who hated vegetables. All around, quite an interesting individual. And one of my favorite composers.

What else can I write about? Well, let's start with things I dislike. I don't like traffic. I don't like Robert Mugabe. I don't like when my shirt sticks to my back when I'm sweating. I don't like movies with battle scenes where the archers don't start firing until the enemy is right at the wall. Okay, so coming up with things I don't like isn't so easy.

I'm drawing a blank on what else I can write about. Well, lately I've been waking up around noon. Normally, I don't mind this, as my bed is extraordinarily comfortable, and my room is pleasantly cool, in spite of the recent heat we've been having. However, I don't like waking up so late in the day because it means so much of the day has passed me by. Then again, it's summer and why in the hell ought I to be awake at eight or nine (not that I'd ever want to wake up at eight or nine)? This morning, as my friend Callie told me last night, Xcel Energy demolished a 500-ft. smokestack, and while I was awake at 6:30 because I had set my alarm, I decided I was much too tired to get on my bike and bike all the way to downtown. So, did I miss an historic event? Maybe. Did I enjoy me some nice bedrest? Absolutely.

One thing that I do like: sleeping.

Also, nerf guns.