Small Wishes

There are several things I wish for, and when I am emperor, I shall get them. In the meantime, they remain wishes.

1) I want everyone to maintain an 18-hour day from the hours of approximately 10Am to 4AM. Failure to do so will result in banishment to a black hole.

2) Money will be abolished. Instead of money, all value shall be based upon a persons ability to high-five. I would be quite wealthy in this new economy.

3) I shall have a personal plane. No. Rather, I shall have a personal rocket that shall take me to wherever I wish to rocket off to. Granted, I have the rockstarship, but let's face it, that's strictly metaphorical, and by the time the 747th century rolls around, I may or may not have discombobulated.

4) Queen Elizabeth II and Goldie Hawn will have a boxing match on my front lawn, followed by Oprah Winfrey juggling flaming knives with Albert Einstein on a mile-tall unicycle.

That is all.