January 20th, 2009

Besides being jet-lagged, smelling bad and not the least bit tired from lugging my half-ton of luggage back to the Americas, I don't know what will happen on this day in history. Being six hours behind the earliest of the US timezones, I find myself reading yesterdays news - almost exclusively about the US Presidential election, though South Africa has recently interested me as well - every morning with a sense of anxiety. Who's up in the polls? What was said the day before? Increasingly, what wasn't said? Which candidate is leading in which states? Is their lead important? Should I really be investing so much into something that I have 1/150,000,000 of a chance of affecting (although in reality, much lower)? All the polls (those mischievous tempests in teapots) seem to be leaning towards my main man Obama, but why aren't they floored for him? I think the West Wing, for all of the hopefulness and humor about US politics it delivered during a particularly dreadful period in our history, really jaded me to how much the executive can do.

As much as I dislike George Bush and his neo-con handlers, the poor man really looks pathetic these days, scrambling for a legacy, hoping not to be remembered as the worst president in history. It's been a long time since I felt adolescent hatred for the man I've never met but who has affected my life so much. For years now, it's just been pity. Now, in a lot of ways, John McCain is getting my pity as well. I used to think of John McCain as one of the few Republicans who were "good guys" (not to say that all Democrats are good, or all Republicans are bad - that would be naive to the point of delusion). He was a man that had character and dignity and respect for others. He reminded me a lot of my grandfather (both of them, really - and not surprisingly they both do and would support him). When he won the Republican nomination, I was really, honestly pleased. Mitt Romney is a crook and Mike Huckabee is a... well, I don't really like anything in which he believes.

Now though... Christ on a whale! I've lived through George Lucas washing out, I've lived through... well, okay, just that one. But now I'm living through John McCain washing out too. And it's sad. It'd be like my grandfather... okay, I'm just not gonna make that analogy 'cuz it'd never happen, whatever it might be. There are just some times when your self-respect should be above your desire. It's why we don't eat whole cakes, or kick pigeons, or rear-end the cars of people who cut us off - unless we're Cathy Bates. John McCain, are you Cathy Bates? No. It's understandable that the guy is probably hurt from having the Presidency robbed from him by the current idiot, but is that hurt really enough to drive him to whatever ends it takes to achieve that office? Granted, once you're in the door, history has a way of overlooking the bloody hands that opened it, but this is more than that. Sarah Palin? She's the Jar-Jar Binks of politics - lovable at first, to some, but to others and eventually all, irritating and disastrously incompetent. The "Let's Come Together In Washington" stunt? That's the whole of The Attack of the Clones - special effects attempting to replace meaningful plot and dialogue and leaving everyone angry at the fact that good actors sucked that bad. I don't know what the political equivalent of the "Only my new powers can save you Padmé" line will be. Maybe McCain will pull the old "Electing the other guy will ensure another terrorist attack" routine in an attempt to scare the electorate into doubt.

I think on January 20th, when the motorcade has rolled through Washington amidst cheering crowds with the stars and stripes flapping in the midwinter breeze, I will be sitting in front of a television set (although I'll probably still be on the plane) watching John Roberts asking Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. to swear to the oath of office. If not though, I think the whole nation will repeat the now-famous performance of Darth Vader discovering his life turned upside down.

*For reference, I have attached a video link.

Hail to the Chief
And the King of all the Surgeons,
He needs a Queen,
To satisfy his urgin's