This Is Too Silly To Pass Up

Alright, John McCain. You are a silly, silly man. I know you're trying to project the image (in a vain, after-the-fact attempt) of being a Washington outsider. I know you're trying to appeal to the part of the electorate that isn't voting for Obama (Williams, Oklahoma, pop. 19). I know that you were born around the time Roosevelt was winning his second term in office (and that you have lived through 1/3 of the nation's existence). I know that you may have been a veteran of the Vietnam war and lived through that turmoil (so did all of our parents, about 200 million+ Americans). I know you may be an Arizona senator who has been critical of the Bush administration (so were the 50 Democratic senators and majority of Congress). I know that you may be struggling to compete against my man, Obama (so is... okay, no one is. That would be silly, too). But honestly, you're a damned fool.

If I were running against Barack Obama (which I wouldn't), I would pick Tim Pawlenty, who I find to be a rather reasonable and clever Republican (not that I voted for the slimy bastard, or would, ever) to be my vice president. Barring that, I would've chosen Charlie Christ, governor of the 4th most populous state in the union. Barring that, I would've picked Mitt Romney, the man (besides McCain) most admired by the Republican party (not saying much). But no, being a silly old man (like Reagan, Bush I, Bush II) you pick Sarah Palin, a woman who has been governor of the last state of join the Union and the largest and least populous of that group, for two years, and a woman you claim to be similar to Hillary Clinton. Okay. Fuck off, the both of you. If Obama had not won the nomination to be President (Praise Jesus, Allah, Buddha), I would've voted for Hillary.

Anyways, it's 2AM now, and I have no reason for talking about this anymore. 300 million Americans (okay, not all of them, but everyone who isn't currently in infancy or senility) will be carrying on this conversation for me.

God Bless President Obama.